DnD: Baern Broadhoof

Baern Broadhoof is the most badass Dwarf ever to have lived.

Or at least, he thinks he is. You see, Baern is convinced of a lot of things that just aren’t true.

Baern was a always big for his age (and big for… well, a Dwarf) and he was an adventurous and boisterous child. Raised by his uncle, Yurin Broadhoof, Baern enjoyed nothing more than learning to fight, and putting those skills into use – typically in what his elders called “inappropriate circumstances”. Baern’s enthusiasm for rambunctiousness was so great that he caught the eye of the Battle-Legion of Kord, an elite group of paladins dedicated to Kord, the God of War. When Baern received this prestigious invitation to join their ranks, he happily accepted.

Unfortunately, when the paladins turned out to greet their new protege the next day, Baern was nowhere to be seen. A hasty search of the Legion-Barracks began, to no avail. About an hour later, however, news finally arrived in the form of a messenger from the monastery of Bahamut. According to this messenger, a young Dwarf had arrived at their monastery in the middle of the night, claiming that he had been invited to join their “Battle-Legion”. He had then proceeded to “train” with any monk he could get his hands on. Baern, apparently, had thought that he was becoming a paladin of Bahamut, not Kord! After receiving this embarrassing news, the Battle-Legion quickly extricated Baern from the beleaguered monastery and kept him under firm supervision for the rest of his training.

Baern remains convinced to this day that he is a paladin of Bahamut.

Baern’s other interests include history – in particular the history of the Dwarves. Baern’s uncle Yurin taught him most of what he knows in this regard, which means that he believes the Broadhoof clan to be behind pretty much every single major event in Dwarven history that has ever happened. Most Dwarven victories in major wars can be attributed to Ulfric Broadhoof, the greatest Dwarven general of all time; Aerin Broadhoof was apparently the mastermind behind the Dwarven underground’s heinous organized crime for the better part of three centuries. The paladins of Kord were particularly annoyed when they discovered that Baern had accounted for the birth of their order as “a cushy retreat created by Lord Ulfric to amuse his slightly special younger brother, Bongo.”

There have been several attempts made by offended paladins to have Baern removed from the Battle-Legion. However, despite his rather… unorthodox… beliefs, Baern has managed to become one of the Legion’s greatest warriors. None can argue that Baern does not have an amazing talent for winning fights – tactical ineptitude be damned! Legion-General Nalgrim, delighted at the attention that his newest recruit is bringing to the Legion, has been an enthusiastic proponent in overlooking Baern’s many “quirks”, fondly excusing them by saying, “He reminds me of myself when I was a young Dwarf!”

Nevertheless, Nalgrim has come up with a brilliant scheme in an effort to keep every party happy: Baern will be sent to adventure throughout the land as a roaming Knight of Kord – a position of high honor and respect within the Battle-Legion. This way, Baern is free to fight as he pleases, and his “impious excesses” will remain far from the eyes of the conservative paladin factions.

Baern, of course, is delighted by this new opportunity to show the world the honor of Clan Broadhoof and the Battle-Legion of Bahamut. He vows – by Ulfric’s beard! – that he will do them proud.

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