Stages of Sickness

David Prowse as Darth Vader in The Empire Stri...

"You are unwise to lower your defenses!" (Image via Wikipedia)

1. Suspicions that you are getting sick.

You feel a bit off. Maybe you’re just having a bad day? Maybe Blade Runner┬áis just wrecking your head? Whatever the reason, you don’t feel too good. Hopefully it’s just a temporary thing.

2. Lying in bed with a fever – certainty that you’re sick.

There’s no denying it now. You’ve been lying in bed feeling awful for the last 3 hours. In fact, you feel so bad that you can’t even get yourself out of bed to take some medicine. If that’s not a sign that you’re sick, nothing is.

3. Shouting at someone to get paracetemol.

You’re not moving anywhere any time soon. The solution? Shout at someone who is operating normally to come and save you from you duvet smothered misery. Continue reading

Visiting the Doctor

So it turns out I have a throat infection. This recounts my visit to the doctor (who sounds suspiciously like Ali G). Respect.

Kevin Murray? The doctor will see you now. If you will please follow me… Through this door here… Doctor Kavanagh? Kevin Murray to see you.

Owright tanks love, you iz bein’ da badest gansta in da surgery today, ya hear me?

… Thank you Doctor Kavanagh. I’ll just leave you with Kevin now I think…

Owright, owright. Kevin, innit?

Uh… Yeah. Hi Doc? Continue reading